You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension – a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind, a dimension known simply as Walmart. Toothless rednecks, ghetto thugs and three dollar packs of underwear. Wally World, where anything is possible but disappointment is definite. Today we travel to Walmart for another… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

I’ve been doing most my shopping online as of late, but decided to head out to one of the bigger Walmarts in town this weekend for a new Tales. I figured since it had been so long since I was at Walmart, that there would be a new influx of toys. I had hoped to check out the A-Team figures and maybe some new DCUC guys as well.

Right off I checked the DCUC. My Walmart has now dedicated three whole pegs to DC Universe Classics, but there was only a total of three figures there. That’s starting to get old. There is a “Best Of” repack Nightwing down at the bottom, but one of the pegs is actually filled with DCIH figures. Man this is a mess. It’s also lame that these rereleases don’t come with their C&C piece.

I just happened to cut down the girls aisle, (no I wasn’t looking for Care Bears!) and low and behold this caught my eye. See, I thought only boys were subjected to stupid stuff like Spider-man and Superman needing a car, but look… It’s a MY LITTLE PONY CAR! It defies all reason. Why would a horse need a car? How does a horse drive a car? Oh well what can you do.

I was also hoping maybe they’d have some of the new WWE Legends figures, but no such luck. They did have the new two packs, but why we’re already getting a second Hornswaggle figure is beyond me. I also just have to say, the Jakks Christian and Dreamer were way better than these two. Christian has white hair and Dreamer looks nothing like Tommy. For the most part the Mattel figures are better, but their misses are way worse than Jakks misses.

Feel like playing on the farm? Well now you can! I remember buying stuff like this when I was a small kid. Oh and when you visited the Zoo, you just had to get a Zoo Animal set. Except it would always be way overpriced.

I gotta admit, these 12 inch Corps guys are pretty cool. I realize I’m getting old now because 12 inch figures and cloth accessories that I used to consider only for “dolls” are becoming more and more appealing. Clearly I need help. There was one bad guy looking figure that I wanted, but couldn’t find. They came with a ton of accessories too. How can they manage the low price tag for so much?!

Of course the 3 3/4 figures looked pretty cool, too. I really like that turquoise frogman. It’s a shame these guys don’t get a little more respect. They’ve come quite a long way. Plus they’re affordable. I suspect in this tough economy a lot of kids know the Corps well, just like I did in the crappy 80’s economy. These Corps are way cooler than a lot of the main stuff I saw on the shelves though.

That’s it for this time, but beware that just around the bend, lurking in the darkest corners of the department store is something your wildest dreams could never conceive when we venture into TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

8 Responses to Tales From The Toy Aisle – Walmart Fever

  • Lovin says:

    That Christian looks like Michael Keaton

  • PresidentJuggernaut says:

    I ventured into Walmart myself today, but was actually pleasantly surprised. Plenty of new DCUC, including their exclusive two-packs. Plus some new Iron Man stuff!

  • You know now that you say that, you're right. He does a bit. I dunno why this Christian is so bad.

  • I have around 8 Walmarts in the area, but I only visit three or so regularly. That said, I almost never see anything there. Especially if it pertains to Mattel stuff. The Hasbro stuff wasn't much better, mind you, but Walmart is slowly turning into a lost cause for me. These Cyborg figures have been on the shelves for well over a year I suspect or at least since whenever that wave first hit. They've been moved back and fourth from the clearance to the aisle. It's crazy. Same thing for those DCIH figures. The fact that those got moved from the clearance aisle onto the empty DCUC pegs just is the exclamation point on my frustration.

  • DStanhope says:

    DC Classics fucking suck. Its all the fans fault for getting what we have today. No one can agree on anything. And you got a thousands of people all wanting a different thing. Thats why Mattel has trouble making the characters people because there are so many in the DC Universe. So many obscure ones in addition to hundreds of Superman and Batman variants. Its like Star Wars Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader syndrome in 6" scale. Mattel isn't Hasbro since DC doesn't bring in millions in revenue like Star Wars does for Hasbro. There is less incentive for them to do what the fans want. They should just dissolve the main line and instead concentrate on niche lines when the live action movie push happens for Green Lantern, the 3rd Batman movie, the Flash movie, and if they do a Wonder Woman movie.

  • DStanhope says:

    Nobody buys 6" BAF figures anymore only except for a couple hundred (?) nerds that have the time to surf the Internet for toy news. Hasbro realized it wasn't profitable with Marvel Legends and the line stopped as a whole. Do you suddenly think Mattel will continue making these figures for years after 2012? No, they'll see that they aren't profitable and stop production. Thats how the world works. The executive sitting in Mattel's office doesn't care that the nerd or white trash comic book groupie who shops at the local Wal-Mart couldn't buy his exclusive Wave 14 Zatanna figure.

  • TrueDave says:

    photography is not allowed in the store .

  • I guess that's why every time a Walmart staffer gets near me, I throw pickle brine in his eyes and hit him with a DDT. Then I run off…

    Actually, uh, it's Walmart. Nobody cares. I could be setting the store on fire and nobody would stop me.

    Nobody cares at any store. I take photos all the time. Thus the dozens of these Tales from the Toy Aisle articles.

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