It’s time to venture into that land of the unknown. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the farthest corners of TJ Maxx. It’s time once again to boldy go into the realm of the scalper and the soccer Mom, it’s time for… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

We start this week in the always loveable Toys R Us. TRU is still jammed to the rafters with it’s special edition DCUC Batman, but nary a MOTUC vs DCUC pack in sight. The other interesting thing is that after selling through the first batch of DC Retro Heroes rather quickly, the restocked ones aren’t moving very fast. I returned one I bought as well, the oddly misshapen bodies and general cheapness of the whole presentation just wasn’t enough for me to waste $20 on. I respect my Jeffersons more than that.

Speaking of things I respect my money too much to buy… I’ve been on a bit of a vinyl kick lately, but I can’t bring myself to buy these new ones from Jazwares. I like that they tried, I really do, but something just seems off about these JUVIs (Jazwares Urban Vinyl). Don’t let that confuse you Jazwares, I do very much want a Mega Man line, just not like this.

Over in the “collector” section they had a couple of neat things. These Ratchet and Clank toys stood out to me as particularly cool. You’d think they would be marketed more towards kids. I almost wanted to pick some up, but passed.

Check it out! NEW JLU SINGLES! Nope, wait… That’s Big Lots getting old stock of JLU figures. Sadly none of the Batman Beyond 3 Pack that I so desperately want and need. Of course yes, that is the exact same John Stewart that is in the new case packout for JLU at Target. More of Mattel’s brilliant marketing strategy, repack figures that are currently in discount chains and charge $9 for them. I guess I’ll pick up the new Firestorm and Aquaman when they make their inevitable run at Big Lots later this year.

Big Lots was also choking on DCIH figures. I’d have bought some of these, if I could care about the line… Sadly I can’t.

Then it was off to Walmart to see what they had! Well, yeah… Here’s the DCUC section. This is pretty sad. I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but how come Hasbro can replenish their toys but not Mattel? If you’re wondering why I quit DCUC, well here’s part of your answer. This is also the answer to the question as to why Hasbro ends up with more shelf space than Mattel.

To be fair they also had some other DCUC and DCIH figures… In the clearance section. Poor Cyborg. I can’t believe people aren’t snatching up those DCIH Alex Luthor figures by the truckload at the $7 price tag!

Then it was off to K-Mart for some blue light specials… Looks like the Blue Light means new toys this week. They had a bunch of new DCIH figures, including this ugly Earth 2 Robin. Not enough to make me want to buy it, but they appear to be the only store carrying new DCIH in my neck of the woods.

I almost pulled the trigger on these two though. Seriously. Then I came to my senses. Two-Face comes with nothing. Joker’s cane has some sort of weird thing on it… It looks like an ashtray I made for my Mom in second grade. So I passed, but I was pretty close. I guess it’s my love of Batman.

Sadly this Hal Jordan with mutated hand grip did nothing for me. I’m still baffled that Hal and Robin have new articulation, while Joker and Two-Face have old articulation. It almost looks like two completely different toy lines. Both that suck, mind you.

Hasbro and Marvel weren’t doing much better with stale X-Men Wolverine Origins figures. They did have the special pack with Deadpool and I’ve heard that this Deadpool is different than the single card release. Sadly I don’t care enough about Deadpool to pick this one up. No Colossus though.

We conclude our journey at the Dollar Tree (Where everything costs only $1) for the absolute WORST toys ever. Check out this UFC knock off figure. There’s actually just random loose plastic and broken bits of the figure everywhere inside the package. I have to wonder what the poor Chinese slaves that are making these toys conditions are.

Then I saw the Astro Boy Peacekeeper and got excited! I loved this figure and for a $1, I was about to buy 100 of them… But sadly this isn’t that figure but a poorly painted, less articulated knock off. Damned bootleg toys. Sorry for the blurry picture, some fat chick wouldn’t get out of my way.

They had a whole selection of pretty crappy bootleg Astro Boy toys. Some of them were completely different than the real Jazwares ones and some looked like they used parts of the same molds. I almost picked a couple up for the lolz.

Would anybody like to actually see reviews of some of these $1 bootleg toys? Let me know!

That’s it for this time, but beware that just around the bend, lurking in the darkest corners of the department store is something your wildest dreams could never conceive when we venture into TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

11 Responses to Tales From The Toy Aisle: Dollar Stores and DC Lore

  • Lt. Clutch says:

    WTH is up with DCIH Hal's mutated hand? You'd think he'd have his lantern this time around. I thought the newer version had a closed fist?

    Mattel was always the odd man out when it came to boy's toys, going back to when I was a kid. I only remember Masters of the Universe, Secret Wars, Bravestarr, and Captain Power. Hasbro had G.I. Joe, the Transformers, C.O.P.S. and Visionaries, just to name a few. Kenner really got the ball rolling with Star Wars, then added Super Powers, Silverhawks, Sky Commanders, Centurions, Care Bears, and M.A.S.K. There was also the late, great, LJN with Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, Thundercats, Tigersharks, and Bionic Six. Galoob had the A-Team and Blackstar. Coleco landed Rambo. Remco was king of the knock-off lines but tried out stuff like DC's Warlord and Sgt. Rock licenses and Marvel's Saga of Crystar. Tonka released Steel Monsters. Tomy did TRON. The list is endless, but I'm going with the glorious 80's for the most part. God, I miss those days now…! My kingdom for a time machine and a TRUs!!!

  • Mark says:

    Totally agree. back in the mid 80's there was so many great toy lines.
    At present the only good lines in the UK are Transformers and WWE, G.I. Joe got canceled over here….apart from that there is nothing of any interest in the shops.

  • jack says:

    That poor "Fight Club" bastard also has two left hands.

  • Trust me, that was one of the better looking figures. Those guys were just terrible all around.

  • Lt. Clutch says:

    If that's the best sample you could find, I'd hate to see the others. His plastic skin is literally peeling off! And do those metal bolts look cheap as "articulation points" or what? Those poor Chinese kids, man…

  • Yeah it was pretty bad. I probably could have spent all day taking pictures of those poor deformed toys.

  • Wes says:

    Hah, I actually have three of those Fight Club figures — one of these days I'll get around to reviewing them on SC. They really aren't all that bad aside from the paint, though! I would not give them to children AT ALL, but customizers working in the 3.75" scale would probably find them pretty useful.

    And those Astro Boy figures aren't bootlegs — they're just cheaper "emerging market" figures, like the stuff Hasbro will be releasing soon for Iron Man 2. Jazwares made them; you can see the "J" logo on the packaging. You'll rarely find actual bootlegs in Dollar Tree these days, and you'll NEVER find them pretending to be the official product.

  • Hmm, I'm not sure on that. Yes, they do use the Jazwares packaging, but on the actual packaging itself nowhere does it say Jazwares. In fact if you look at the back, it shows off the actual Jazwares figures and a couple other random things with language that doesn't make a lot of sense and lists another company. It looks like a bootleg to me. The toys themselves are cheap second market molds of the actual Jazwares figures. The ones that aren't use a different Astro Boy than the actual Jazwares products. I'm almost certain they're bootlegs. If they are Jazwares products, I'd be baffled why these aren't anywhere near the quality of their actual Astro Boy stuff.

    You must have a better batch of Fight Clubbers than the ones at my Dollar Tree. These were all broken bits of crap. I can't imagine a customizer using them for anything unless they wanted some old plastic to melt down.

    Now I may have to pick a few up just to further examine them.

  • Wes says:

    "If they are Jazwares products, I'd be baffled why these aren't anywhere near the quality of their actual Astro Boy stuff."

    Beeecause they're made for discount stores. 😛 This is not uncommon! Granted, you *could* be right about them being bootlegs, but I very much doubt it.

    The thing that I find most curious about them isn't the quality — like I said, this isn't uncommon, and in fact Jazwares has made similarly crappy stuff for discount stores before (Mega Man figurines and whatnot) — but that they're hitting so long after the movie was in theaters. They're usually more timely with these kinds of things. I suppose it's possible that they were in other discount stores first, possibly for $2-3, but then got shipped to Dollar Trees when they didn't sell there.

    Regarding the wrestling figures, I think you're forgetting that the paint wouldn't necessarily be a deterrent to a customizer, and the flash and weird growths are easily removed. Once you do that, you have a pretty decent sculpt under there. Given that the limbs are held on by screws at the elbows and knees, I can imagine the ease of disassembly also appealing to a customizer (not to mention the usefulness of small screws in the creation of cut joints, etc).

  • I'll split the difference with you and say that someone might be able to use the Fight Club guys for something, but I'm still pretty certain the Astros are knockoffs. 😉

  • Blackie says:

    There is a Store Called TUESDAY MORNING & I Just Picked Up The Batman Beyond 3 Pack For $6.99 Plus I Got The Question/Flash/Wonder Woman 3 Pack ,The Shade/Cheetah/Lex Luthor 3 Pack & The Fire/Ice/Green Lantern(John Stewart) 3 Pack As Well All $6.99. They Had The Singles as well Picked up Sinestro(New Suit) ,Green Lantern (John Stewart),Dr. Fate,Superwoman & Booster Gold For $2.99 Each.That Also Have the First Wave of the DC Universe Infinite Heroes 3 Packs For $6.99 & The Singles For $2.99 !!!

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