It’s time to venture into that land of the unknown. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the farthest corners of TJ Maxx. It’s time once again to boldy go into the realm of the scalper and the soccer Mom, it’s time for… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!
We start this week in the always loveable Toys R Us. TRU is still jammed to the rafters with it’s special edition DCUC Batman, but nary a MOTUC vs DCUC pack in sight. The other interesting thing is that after selling through the first batch of DC Retro Heroes rather quickly, the restocked ones aren’t moving very fast. I returned one I bought as well, the oddly misshapen bodies and general cheapness of the whole presentation just wasn’t enough for me to waste $20 on. I respect my Jeffersons more than that.
Speaking of things I respect my money too much to buy… I’ve been on a bit of a vinyl kick lately, but I can’t bring myself to buy these new ones from Jazwares. I like that they tried, I really do, but something just seems off about these JUVIs (Jazwares Urban Vinyl). Don’t let that confuse you Jazwares, I do very much want a Mega Man line, just not like this.
Over in the “collector” section they had a couple of neat things. These Ratchet and Clank toys stood out to me as particularly cool. You’d think they would be marketed more towards kids. I almost wanted to pick some up, but passed.
Check it out! NEW JLU SINGLES! Nope, wait… That’s Big Lots getting old stock of JLU figures. Sadly none of the Batman Beyond 3 Pack that I so desperately want and need. Of course yes, that is the exact same John Stewart that is in the new case packout for JLU at Target. More of Mattel’s brilliant marketing strategy, repack figures that are currently in discount chains and charge $9 for them. I guess I’ll pick up the new Firestorm and Aquaman when they make their inevitable run at Big Lots later this year.
Big Lots was also choking on DCIH figures. I’d have bought some of these, if I could care about the line… Sadly I can’t.
Then it was off to Walmart to see what they had! Well, yeah… Here’s the DCUC section. This is pretty sad. I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but how come Hasbro can replenish their toys but not Mattel? If you’re wondering why I quit DCUC, well here’s part of your answer. This is also the answer to the question as to why Hasbro ends up with more shelf space than Mattel.
To be fair they also had some other DCUC and DCIH figures… In the clearance section. Poor Cyborg. I can’t believe people aren’t snatching up those DCIH Alex Luthor figures by the truckload at the $7 price tag!
Then it was off to K-Mart for some blue light specials… Looks like the Blue Light means new toys this week. They had a bunch of new DCIH figures, including this ugly Earth 2 Robin. Not enough to make me want to buy it, but they appear to be the only store carrying new DCIH in my neck of the woods.
I almost pulled the trigger on these two though. Seriously. Then I came to my senses. Two-Face comes with nothing. Joker’s cane has some sort of weird thing on it… It looks like an ashtray I made for my Mom in second grade. So I passed, but I was pretty close. I guess it’s my love of Batman.
Sadly this Hal Jordan with mutated hand grip did nothing for me. I’m still baffled that Hal and Robin have new articulation, while Joker and Two-Face have old articulation. It almost looks like two completely different toy lines. Both that suck, mind you.
Hasbro and Marvel weren’t doing much better with stale X-Men Wolverine Origins figures. They did have the special pack with Deadpool and I’ve heard that this Deadpool is different than the single card release. Sadly I don’t care enough about Deadpool to pick this one up. No Colossus though.
We conclude our journey at the Dollar Tree (Where everything costs only $1) for the absolute WORST toys ever. Check out this UFC knock off figure. There’s actually just random loose plastic and broken bits of the figure everywhere inside the package. I have to wonder what the poor Chinese slaves that are making these toys conditions are.
Then I saw the Astro Boy Peacekeeper and got excited! I loved this figure and for a $1, I was about to buy 100 of them… But sadly this isn’t that figure but a poorly painted, less articulated knock off. Damned bootleg toys. Sorry for the blurry picture, some fat chick wouldn’t get out of my way.
They had a whole selection of pretty crappy bootleg Astro Boy toys. Some of them were completely different than the real Jazwares ones and some looked like they used parts of the same molds. I almost picked a couple up for the lolz.
Would anybody like to actually see reviews of some of these $1 bootleg toys? Let me know!
That’s it for this time, but beware that just around the bend, lurking in the darkest corners of the department store is something your wildest dreams could never conceive when we venture into TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!