Welcome to another installment of Lone Wolf’s “Pulse of the Press.” Today I’m going to be taking a look at the Siege story arc from Marvel comics as well as some other interesting tidbits. Let’s get right into the Siege storyline which covers, Avengers #33, New Avengers #62, New Ultimates #1 and Mighty Avengers #34. I honesty think I may have read a Thor or some such nonsense in the midst of reading the Siege story Arc, but I’m not 100% sure. It may have only been these four. Okay here’s the story in a nutshell: After the climactic events of the Civil War story arc, Which I LOVED by the way, the Original Captain America is dead. But in a relatively short matter of time, things have changed.

Avengers The Initiative #33
Marvel Comics
Christos Gage (Writer)
Jorge Molina (Artist)

New Avengers #62
Marvel Comics
Brian Michael Bendis (Writer)
Stuart Immonen (Artist)

New Ultimates #1
Marvel Comics
Jeph Loeb (Writer)
Frank Cho (Artist)

Mighty Avengers #34
Marvel Comics
Dan Scott (Writer)
Neil Edwards (Artist)

Norman Osbourne, (of Green Goblin fame) has become head of H.A.M.M.E.R. An acronym along the lines of S. H. I. E. L. D. and has donned the Red, white and blue of Cap and then Norman Osbourne (of Green Goblin fame) donned the mighty armor of The Invincible Iron Man… Wait, what? He’s done both! There was this whole “Who is the Iron Patriot?” thing going on a few months back and I bought into it until the big wigs at Marvel all took a bunch of LSD and Peyote during a brainstorming session, no I’m kidding they’re ALL just moronic idiots who have control over comics… No that ain’t right either Mickey controls Marvel now… I think. Hell I have no idea what’s going on over there but it’s bad. ALL BAD! Anyway…

The story here is the return of Thor, for more than just my chosen religious beliefs, is one of my all time favorite comic book characters in the Marvel multiverse. And there is one helluva Multiverse thing going on here. Norman Osbourne’s in charge and a “media darling”, The Fantastic Four have disbanded, (although last week I read and reviewed a really good F. F. mag, go figure!) the X-men are gone and due to the Legacy Virus there are no more mutants being born. The Iron Patriot (Osbourne) has his own Avengers and secretly works with a group called Hood, an evil super group who is hunting down the REAL Avengers, well some of them. Captain America 2, who happens to be Bucky Dent, Cap’s old side kick, Luke Cage, Tigra, Spiderman, Spider Woman, and a few lesser known’s now make up the Avengers.

The first issue Spider Woman is under the control of some unknown Monkey guy and is kicking Spiderman’s teeth in. She gets ahold of herself and they win, spanking the monkey in the process. Pun definitely intended. Then in the next issue The bogus Avengers and Iron Patriot are trying to take over Asgard, yeah that’s a good idea, the U. S. isn’t enough they want the home of the Norse Pantheon. All the while Thor (finally with a beard) is sitting in Hell trying to get back to earth and having to make a deal with Hela, the slightly twisted Norse goddess of the damned. Moljnir, Thor’s famous hammer is in the hands of his lady love, who is helping out the real Avengers.

Also Nick Fury, the white one, not the Samuel Jackson one who’s also running around in various Marvel titles, shows up and guess what… Steve Rogers, the real Captain America comes back. Which kind of sucks because his death scene on the courthouse steps at the end of Civil War was EPIC!!!!!! But it’s good to have him back. Good for Marvel’s marketing dept. that is, with the whole frozen scene in the Incredible Hulk movie, but with the Captain America Movie coming out I guess Steve needs to be around in the rags. Then, suddenly in the next magazine Thor’s back, (and clean shaven damnit!) and he is being called by Loki to be rescued from yet another group of Avengers, Tigra, Quicksilver, Goliath, Vision and others, for impersonating the Scarlet Witch. (Quicksilver’s woman in this timeline, wasn’t she with Vision?) And Thor does rescue him, then gets taken out by Iron Patriot. Oh yeah Tony Stark has brain cancer and is dying, and he’s with Ms. Marvel. (The Carol Danvers one not the Sharon Ventura one) Although as Nick Fury points out, they hate each other.

Basically Marvel has disintegrated into a cesspool of garbage that stinks worse than the Hudson River. The only redeeming panel in this mess is where Ares gets literally torn in half by Sentinel, who’s gone bad and is with Osbourne and his crew. I always hated Ares taking Thor’s roster spot. Wrong mythology altogether. What a horrible mess! Other than constantly cursing and ALMOST showing bare female breasts every other panel, they really aren’t relevant anymore. DC seems headed in the right direction and Marvel has hit rock bottom and is still drilling. These comics are worthless. The story arc’s make no sense, and anything with a movie tie in has six or more titles on the rack at any given time. Fans really need to speak up because some of this artwork is absolutely fantastic. But as long as these stories are so jumbled and disorganized, I can’t see spending 4 and 5 dollars per magazine. I give Marvel’s siege Story arc and Marvel in general a resounding 0 on a scale of one to a thousand. Don’t waste your money on this crap. If no one buys this stuff, something has to change right?

The Incredibles Issue #5
Boom Entertainment
Mark Waid, Landry Walker (Writers)
Marcio Takara (Artist)


Now I must pre-empt this by saying I’m not a fan of Pixar, crucify me if you want. Toy Story was cool, Toy Story 2, eh I could’ve done without it, didn’t like Shrek, Wall-E, any of that other crap….. Blah! I was force fed the Incredibles and sat through it. Didn’t really have an opinion one way or another about it. Predictable, uninspired artistry, everything bad about cartoons basically, but this nugget of gold comic book jumped out at me. The whole homage to the classic Spiderman issue grabbed me. And for 3 bucks …. Well yeah it was overpriced, but still this cover was cool so I grabbed it up.

The story’s not bad. Aliens have taken control of the adults in the Incredible family and so it’s up to Dash to save them. Unfortunately the aliens have stripped him of his powers so that makes it kinda hard. He enlists some help and… Well read it and find out! This is obviously geared towards younger readers and appropriately so. The artwork is REAL artwork and not CGI so I really liked it. Old school look and feel to it.

There are apparently other covers, so if not for that I wouldn’t have even picked this up. But I thought it was cute, so I added it to my vast collection. I literally read hundreds of comic books a month so this was a nice little break from my usual fare. A solid 7 out of 10. Now if only they would make cartoons this way again.

That’s it for this edition of the Pulse of the Press. I should have another up sooner than you may think. Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think, or if there are any titles you’d recommend me checking out. Next time I’ll have some Indie stuff for you.

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