Yesterday we took a look at the “lead” villain in the new GI Joe Rise of Cobra movie and today we’re going to spotlight his main squeeze. Why it’s Baroness of course! Anastasia Cisarovna (Seriously I had to Google that, I know almost everyone’s real name, but Baroness? Nope, she’s always just Baroness in my head…) has been around a long time debuting all the way back in the first issue of GI Joe. If you never followed the comics you might not realize it but Baroness originally was very loyal to Cobra Commander. She was the official #2 in the original Cobra lineup.

As time went along Destro and the Baroness started hooking up and the rest they say is history. Despite the Baroness’ close relationship with Destro through the years she’s always remained loyal to Cobra, except that time when Cobra Commander left her to die after she’d been blown up. Moot point in the grand scheme of things because Baroness continues to work with Cobra throughout all the various incarnations of the character.

Cobra’s ranks don’t have a lot of females but for whatever reason Baroness has always remained a part of Cobra, opting to be an official member instead of a hired contractor. One of these days I’ll figure out why it is that Cobra’s infrastructure is so segmented. In the meantime though let’s take a look at the newest Baroness figure from the Rise of Cobra movie as portrayed by Sienna Miller in the new film.

By now you’ve seen this package a million times. At least a half dozen times on this website alone. That doesn’t make the package any less interesting but it does make me run out of witty things to say about it. It’s a nice package and the artwork of Baroness on the front definitely reflects the figure. Perhaps moreso than it does the real life Sienna Miller as Baroness.

The back of the package has her dossier which is pretty standard but does play into the movie a bit. As an example they reference a dark secret from her past and say that she works for both Cobra and MARS. Both of which is true but certainly more movie oriented than not.

Some of the Generation 3 or 25th style Baroness figures lacked some articulation points by the boys. Baroness was one of the first GI Joe 25th Anniversary figures released and all the subsequent variants have been using the same mold more or less, meaning that Baroness has always gotten the short end of the stick. The new Rise of Cobra figures allow Baroness to get a new mold though with improved articulation!

For starters she has the ball jointed head although the range of movement is limited with her hair. Still that’s to be expected on any figure with long hair. You don’t notice it on the male Joes simply because Bret Michaels hasn’t enlisted on the Joe team yet, but once he does “Private Crabs” will have issues with his neck ball joint as well.

Party at the Cobra Disco-tech! (They don’t call him Pimp Daddy for nothing!)

She also has ball jointed shoulders, Hasbro ball joint elbows, a high mid torso joint, t-bar Joe style ball joint crotch/legs as well as for the first time DOUBLE JOINTED KNEES! Huzzah! Her ball joint ankles complete the articulation. I should mention that while these Joes do have ball joint or rocker ankles, you can’t really get any side to side movement. Overall I find you can get this Baroness into more feminine poses than any of the previous ones.

This is the thinnest version of Baroness ever released. For some, this is a real improvement because Baroness has often had some chunky sculpts. For others they find her to be too thin, like a praying mantis or something. I’m quite alright with how thin she is because it allows her to have more cat-like movement in her joints. Don’t get me wrong, I like the meaty thighs of the original Baroness design but I think this works from a toy scale.

They grow em bigger these days.

Interestingly despite her thin stature and massive high heels, she stands pretty good. The other Baroness figures from the 25th style line has forced her to almost always have some sort of a hunchback. This isn’t the case here and it’s a subtle if not supple improvement in terms of design. Thin legs be damned.

Her outfit is basically classic Baroness. She has the Cobra emblem on her chest and plenty of little leather buckles and seams throughout. The Rise of Cobra movie really hasn’t changed much on the basic design of Baroness. I do think this figure seems to channel Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman outfit a bit. Guess what? That’s NEVER a bad thing.

The one area that has changed is that Baroness now wears sunglasses instead of her typical spectacles. Not that she hasn’t worn some sunglasses in prior versions but that seems to be the default look here. This could be a double edged sword but as it turns out Hasbro really nailed these glasses. Not only do they look good on her face, but they are removeable and are PERFECTLY to scale. As you know, glasses on small figures are very hard to do. Look at Mattel’s Egon as a perfect example… Now look at these, they’re in a much smaller scale but well done. Of course I doubt they could have made regular glasses look this good, so sunglasses was the right approach.

As for her face, well that seems to be a point of contention. For starters, she looks fine with the glasses on. However once you get them off, some people tend to be torn on if she looks good or not. I think a lot of people are saying that without looking at Sienna Miller though. This face sculpt looks a lot like Sienna miller. She has high cheek bones and deep eye sockets. Now, I’m not here to tell you it’s perfect nor 100% accurate, but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as people have made out. It looks exceptional from a side profile. One thing to note about the face, in these super close up macro function pictures it tends to look a lot worse than to the regular human eye. Again, you may differ, but I think this isn’t a bad Baroness face at all. Especially when you consider some of the rather horrid Baroness faces we’ve gotten through the years.

The paint work is solid with a nice gloss sheen all over the figure to replicate a shiny leather or vinyl. I appreciate them doing that because it makes this Baroness stand out. Although it’s not really movie accurate as it appears her costume in the movie is more of a flat black leather. Either way though it works.

If it’s one trend we’ve noticed with these Rise of Cobra toys is that these guys have weapons pouring out their ears. Baroness is no exception to that rule, coming with some of the nice sets of stuff I’ve seen. For starters she has the removable glasses that we went over earlier, as well as two separate pistols. Although both designs are similar, they are indeed different with one being a bit bigger. I believe these can plug into her legs much like Destro’s did as well.

She also has a MARS briefcase that’s a new sculpt from the old one and it opens to reveal a spot to hold the nanomite popsicle stick things. That’s a good thing because she also comes with a nanomite popsicle. Those things apparently play a big part in the movie so while they might seem silly to us adults now, imagine as kids getting pieces of the Weather Dominator. Same thing… Only different.

She also has a grappling hook with some sort of disk I assume she’s supposed to repel down on. It’s a bit hard to get her to work it right, but I really like the grappling hook. Those are accessories that always got play from me as a kid and this one has a really nice long rope and the hook is a good one that actually works if you throw it.

Finally she has her stand and of course a giant missile launcher. Her missile is a nanomite missile and it’s not bad. Actually the launcher while big for Baroness is about the size of a real missile launcher, thus not really worthy of the “big honkin'” nickname. It’s a worthwhile accessory.

Additional Notes:

Baroness has come a long way since her old original figures and this new one is one of the nice Baroness figures to ever be made. I know I feel like I’m repeating myself as I’ve said that a lot in recent weeks in regards to these figures but it keeps ringing true. What makes this Baroness special is that she could become your default Baroness if you want. The movie design is so similar to the regular Baroness design that adding her to your regular 25th style collection would be a no brainer.

What’s in the case?

$7.99, $6.99, $5.00? Depending on when and where you get these will help determine your value. If you get her for the higher price range, she’s still worth it but not as much. If you see her for $5 and don’t get it, you’re a male chauvinist pig.

Score Recap:
Packaging – 8
Sculpting – 7
Articulation – 8
Accessories – 2 Pistols, Briefcase, Grappling Hook, Nanomite Stick, Missile Launcher, Stand
Value – 7
Overall – 7.5 out of 10

Baroness ties with her man Destro at a solid 7.5 a piece. There isn’t too much to fault with this figure other than possibly a face sculpt that you may or may not like. I’ve already seen some pretty awesome customs with this figure swapping the face out. I assume you could also shove one of the older Baroness heads on her as well.

4 out of 5 Destros prefer the modern badunkadunk!

Something about this Baroness figure made me act like a 12 year old again and take a lot of funny pictures. Who knows why. However I also have included some more standard pictures below if you’d like to take a look. Just click the link.

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