Tales from the Toy Aisles

I promised we’d be back to posting regularly and what better way to get back into things than with a Tuesday edition of TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

This week, we venture into the land of controversy, Target! What sort of toys do they have on their shelves? Come inside and let’s take a peek!

Hulk Face

Me am Hulk! Me SMASH! Hulk face smash!

We start things off with this sort of crazy looking Hulk bop ball. I don’t really know what a bop ball is, but it looks like you inflate it and then punch it a bunch. Seems like the sort of thing David Banner could have used back in the day (cue sad piano music) but the real prize here is that face. Just look at that face!

Hulk isn’t the only one with a wonky face, Look at this smug grin on this Marvel Universe Comic 2 Pack of Thor.

Dude, what’s with that face? I can’t tell if he’s being arrogant because he just farted or if he’s done something much more dastardly. Seriously, that’s a terrible face sculpt. C’mon Hasbro! At least the Hulk Bop Ball was fun!

Tanooki Mario World of Nintendo
Tanooki Suit Mario! Man, I would have murdered my neighbors for a figure of this back in 1988! Best I had were those McDonalds Super Mario Bros 3 Happy Meal Toys. Continue reading

It’s time once again kiddies to head into the dank and mysterious underworld filled with plastic movie toys and 5 points of articulation. Yes, that’s right, it’s time for another… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

This week we’re headed to the local Walmart in search of something interesting. Will Walmart house any ancient discoveries or perhaps unveil a new product to us? Don’t hold your breath!

Walmart Man of Steel
Right as soon as we enter, there are tons of Man of Steel toys to look at. It doesn’t look like the box office success of this movie is going to translate into toy sales. Part of the problem of making a more “adult” Superman movie, I suppose.

Walmart Exclusive
Walmart is the place to go for these 3 3/4 Superman figures from Mattel. They even have exclusives that light up. Some of those look pretty neat. I really like that “Powers of Krypton” logo the best.

Superman doll
They even pulled out the old Wrestling Buddy format and made a Superman version. Sadly, these Mattel buddies are very undersized. Continue reading

Black Friday Ninja Turtles Toys

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and that means Black Friday is upon us. As stores gear up for their biggest sale day of the year, it’s time for us to take a trip down the lanes of toy merchandise and see where things are at. Let’s take a peek into the land of holiday shopping as it’s time for… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE PRE-BLACK FRIDAY EDITION!

In the run up to Black Friday, I headed out today and visited two Toys R Us locations, a K-Mart and a Walmart. Each store was gearing up for their big sale day. There were already some deals to be had, but what was the #1 trend I noticed?

Ninja Turtles is the hottest toy line on the planet! Yes, it’s true… The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back and sales are totally gangbusters. One Toys R Us location was completely wiped out. This TRU was previously stocked with every single peg full of Turtles’ toys.

But now? Nothing was left but a few roleplay toys and a backpack. Remember those $120 Sewer Lair playsets that nobody said would sell? Yeah, they were all gone too. But perhaps this is just a freak occurrence at one particular Toys R Us?

Each and every store I went to, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were kings of the aisle.

Another Toys R Us tried to pretend that the Ninja Tutles didn’t even exist. Their whole section had been wiped out, just as the other TRU, but instead of leaving the shelves as a barren wasteland, they “flexed” Power Rangers into that spot. I have to admit, I take a bit of pride in seeing that the Power Rangers are warming shelves while the TMNT are selling like hotcakes, because it was the Rangers who more or less ended the Turtles’ toy aisle dominance in the 90’s.

It’s not just Geoffrey the Giraffe who can’t keep Ninja Turtles in stock. K-Mart was sold out too. And they had quite a bit of peg space. More than K-Mart usually allows. I suspect K-Mart’s nice $7.99 pricetag is part of the reason, but even their roleplay weapons and lame Power Sound FX figures were sold out. Turtle Power!

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Just when you thought it was safe to enter the toy section, it’s time once again for another installment of… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

This time we head to an entirely new type of toy aisle. The toy section at Gander Mountain! I bet you didn’t know there was a toy section at Gander Mountain, did you? Honestly, neither did I. For the uninitiated, Gander Mountain is an “outdoorsman” store, not unlike the kind of place Tim Allen’s “Last Man Standing” would work at.

For the most part they sell guns, hunting gear, more guns and fishing supplies. Speaking of which, the entire store reeked of rubber fishing tackle. Literally every section smelled like some little rubber lure. Aside from the stench, what sort of toys do they have?

As you might expect, they have a lot of toy guns. And I do mean a LOT! They even have pink ones for girls.

Sometime last year I lamented that more stores didn’t sell toy guns, but at this store they take it to another level. Gander Mountain not only has a crap load of real guns, but also toy versions to get “junior” into shooting things as well. It’s kind of scary how many varieties of toy guns they had.

The best stuff is the “exclusives” like the Bone Collector here. Wait, the BONE COLLECTOR?! Gander Mountain is starting to turn into less of a sporting goods store and more into a primer for young serial killers. Who the heck comes up with this stuff? Why is this guy the Bone Collector?!

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It’s been a while, but we once again head into the dank and mysterious underworld filled with little plastic men and spring launching projectiles. It’s time for another… TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

My local Toys R Us is still filled to the brim with leftover Kung-Zhu, so let’s skip on over to Target instead, shall we?

First up is the new Stealth Strike Batman from the Batman Brave & The Bold line. I’d love to tell you my thoughts on this figure and the several other new guys in the line, but I’m not part of the kids whom it is aimed at, so I won’t!

Instead let’s talk Squinkies! Man these things are everywhere! This is the Marvel Squinkies set, but they make all sorts of them.

I bet Stan Lee made up all of these characters!

Kids seem to love them and who can blame them? Just look at this adorable little Ben Grimm. Keep reading for more wacky toys, including ones with glowing hearts!

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