Care Bears

I promised we’d be back to posting regularly and what better way to get back into things than with a Tuesday edition of TALES FROM THE TOY AISLE!

This week, we venture into the land of controversy, Target! What sort of toys do they have on their shelves? Come inside and let’s take a peek!

Hulk Face

Me am Hulk! Me SMASH! Hulk face smash!

We start things off with this sort of crazy looking Hulk bop ball. I don’t really know what a bop ball is, but it looks like you inflate it and then punch it a bunch. Seems like the sort of thing David Banner could have used back in the day (cue sad piano music) but the real prize here is that face. Just look at that face!

Hulk isn’t the only one with a wonky face, Look at this smug grin on this Marvel Universe Comic 2 Pack of Thor.

Dude, what’s with that face? I can’t tell if he’s being arrogant because he just farted or if he’s done something much more dastardly. Seriously, that’s a terrible face sculpt. C’mon Hasbro! At least the Hulk Bop Ball was fun!

Tanooki Mario World of Nintendo
Tanooki Suit Mario! Man, I would have murdered my neighbors for a figure of this back in 1988! Best I had were those McDonalds Super Mario Bros 3 Happy Meal Toys. Continue reading

So here’s something a little different. CARE BEARS! I didn’t even really know they made Care Bears action figures. I wasn’t one of those boys who was interested in girls toys and I never had a sister. I do vaguely remember some Care Bear stuff at my girl cousin’s, but I think she mostly had My Little Pony figures.

I did watch the Care Bears cartoon on occasion when I was a kid because they showed all the cartoons in blocks back then. You’d have to watch Care Bears to get to He-Man. It was a brutal cycle. I also recall watching some reruns on some of those Disney Channel previews in the early 1990’s just because it was a novelty, but by the by I know very little about the Care Bears.

However my girlfriend went out of town this past week to visit her family, but before she left another family member brought over a few boxes of her stuff from when she was a kid. Mostly baby blankets and old Nancy Drew books, but there in the rubble was action figures! Huzzah! At some point in her life, my girlfriend collected action figures! Not Barbies, but honest to goodness action figures. I considered it quite the discovery.

So I thought it might be fun to take a look at these guys. Apparently these figures were pretty popular with girls back in the 1980’s and they even had a couple of vehicles and playsets. Awesome. Each figure has a name, such as Wish Bear the one with the Shooting Star on his chest. The one with the four leaf clover is Good Luck Bear.

Each figure has a couple points of articulation. The legs are simple cuts and are free to move however, as is the neck. Oddly enough the arms are connected through a single joint, which means if you move one arm, the other arm must move as well. I hated toys like that as a kid and it seems like an odd thing to do. You’d think it’d made more sense to do that to the legs than arms.

Each figure has something unique about their sculpt, although there is a fair amount of reuse. The figures arms are made of a strange rubber that obviously didn’t do so well being in a dusty old box for the last two decades, so they got a lot of grime and fuzz on them. Some even changed colors, but no Mego melt.

Each figure also has a heart on the back of the character. As I recall, this was a plastic piece on the original plush Care Bears toys. Some of these guys are a bit rare too, like Bright Heart Raccoon, which can go for up to $30 some of the time. The rarest were some that only saw release in Europe.

The feet (except on Bright Heart Raccoon) are interesting too. They are bent in two places, which means you have to carefully balance them to stand up. It does somewhat change their posing ability to add more stances, but it’s also a bit peculiar.

The face sculpts are all unique and they for the most part feature a strand of hair sticking out of their head. I guess that was so little girls could comb their hair? It reminds me a bit of My Little Pony in that sense. This bear also looks like he should be called Breaking Bad Bear, since he’s obviously on the meth.

Here’s all the Care Bears featured here, Cheer Bear, Wish Bear, Friend Bear, Birthday Bear, Grumpy Bear, Bedtime Bear, Good Luck Bear, Tenderheart Bear, Bright Heart Raccoon and Hellboy Bear.

And now you know a little bit about Care Bears. Go eat some beef jerky and set something on fire to feel more manly again… Or go to Ebay and buy some of these guys. I won’t hold it against you.