Candy

Brach's Candy Corn Review
Halloween is all about candy, right? Undoubtedly. I’m not super old or anything, but the fact of the matter is that, over the course of the last 5-7 years, the amounts of candy put out at Halloween time is just crazy, and the mad rush to get new candies out there, even crazier! Couple that with Wal-Mart and Target making their own candies, and you’ve got a real case of diabetes on your hands!

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With that, we cannot review each candy separately—we would be here until Christmas, only to fall into another candy coma (it’s almost just as bad, you know Jesus and Christmas candy go hand-in-hand). So, we bring you…. CANDY CORN CORNICOPIA! Now, I didn’t eat a lot of candy corn growing up, so I hardly ever buy it now; however, I was scoping out candy for reviews in Walgreens and came across the new Starburst Candy Corn, and decided to grab a couple other flavors (rather than the original) and give it to you all at once—blow your mind. Thus, we also have S’mores and Pumpkin Spice from Brach’s. From a visual aspect, each has its own appeal, as the S’mores are made to mock S’mores colors, and so on. You know what I mean? Right.

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In the end, it’s freakin’ candy corn. Each tasted okay, but the S’mores and Starburst Fruit Corn were most likely the best. The Pumpkin Spice tasted like every other pumpkin spice stuff out there (unless, you are referring to Jamba Juice’s Pumpkin Smash, which I highly endorse, because I could live off those).

Wolfman Candy Corn
These kinds of candies are clearly for individual enjoyment, as I don’t think it is wise (at least not anymore) to hand out unwrapped candy. Some jerk-off ruined that years ago. So, at only $0.99 a bag, you can totally afford to pick these up, and enjoy some, or not. Or throw them at people, or use them as teeth if yours fall out from candy consumption, or you know, whatever. I think, much like twinkles, these things may last forever!


I’ll be honest and say that, I have been putting this review off. Look, I like candy, just as much as the next person. I mean the selection has grown considerably, even for adults. And, as excited as I was to go to Albanese Confectionery, I was slightly let down by these Gummi army figures and jet fighters.

I won’t make you believe that I traveled some long distance to come and get these. But, it just so happened that this candy store is located within 30 minutes from my house. And, one night, while watching TV (Food Network, to be exact. Even more specifically, Unwrapped), I saw these army guys and jet fighters. What really caught my attention was the fact that Albanese shipped off packages of these to the men and women overseas that serve our country. How great is that? I thought it was pretty cool.

Unfortunately, that’s about where the coolness stops.

Packaging:


Pretty standard packaging for gummi-type candies. Although, they do give names to all their army guys and jet fighters. You can play and eat (which is kind of demented) “Bazooka” Bob, “Fighting” Forester, “GI” Johnny, and “Rifleman” Rich. There are also 6 different jet fighters (if you’re package was lucky enough to get them all, mine wasn’t.)

And, then I cut them open. The package, I mean. First, the jet fighters.


Well, I didn’t get all of them. I searched the entire bag to set out each one for show. And, ultimately noticed that I was missing a fighter. Which, was okay. I understand that maybe they just get packaged randomly. But, what I couldn’t get past was the fact that I felt like, and maybe this is just me, some of my jet fighters looked oddly like man parts.


And, some even more so, after I bit into them.

Taste:
They pretty much tasted like generic gummy worms. So, I wasn’t overly impressed for packages, and a website, that say they have the “World’s Best Gummis”. Although I have had their Gummi Bears and they are incredible, so I’m not sure what the deal is with these.

Now, I will say, that once I broke into the army guys, I was surprised with how much detail these guys had.


I could clearly see his straps, bag, pants, boots, helmet and gun. So, that was a definitely plus.

But, then I tasted him, by biting his head.


What I believed was supposed to be green apple flavor, just wasn’t. It smelled like green apple, but tasted more like plastic. It just had a very plastic-like taste that wasn’t too pleasant. I’m sure kids might be okay with it, but it didn’t jive with my tastebuds.

Overall, with packaging, looks and taste, I wouldn’t rate these too highly. I do, honestly believe, that it still is a great idea that Albanese Confectionery sends this kind of stuff to our military men and women. And, just because I wasn’t a fan of these particular candies, doesn’t mean that Albanese isn’t, quite possibly, one of the neatest candy stores I’ve been to.

A while back I did an entire review of the store, and where you can buy other candies from them, which you can check out here. As usual if you are interested in any of my recipes, I have lots more to share at Fare Necessities. Otherwise, once again, I have to thank Infinite Hollywood for allowing me to contribute to its website.

It seems like every 80’s depiction of a Halloween party in movies or television, features a bunch of bowls of “gross out” food like grapes or olives as eyeballs, spaghetti as brains and other such nonsense. Although I’ve always lived up the Halloween spirit, I’ve never been to a party with such festivities. I’ve been to some Halloween parties with some stuff, but never the stuff I always saw on TV.

The folks at Target are seeking to eliminate the need for making your own gross out candy, by selling items like today’s topic, Eyeball Gumballs. Hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar from under Funk and Wagnall’s porch is this batch of eye shaped gum. It looks pretty cool with a neat little logo on the front. It’s like right out of a witch’s cabinet!

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Earlier this month during our Halloween celebration I reviewed the breakfast cereal of champions zombies, Franken Berry. As I mentioned in my Review of Franken Berry, it was one of my favorite cereals growing up. So when I saw that Fruit Roll-Ups had a special Franken Berry flavor, I just had to try it!


The box sports a big ol’ picture of Frankie on the front. The picture looks like some of the older artwork they used to use for Franken Berry, as opposed to the computer generated Frank on the current General Mills boxes. It’s worth noting that there is also a Boo Berry flavor, but no Count Chocula flavor. I guess they can’t make artificial chocolate roll-ups. Fatties everywhere are bound to be upset by this news.


Inside is your metallic pink baggy with the Fruit Roll-Up inside. Actual fruit roll-ups are healthy when made with real fruit. These ones from Betty Crocker, not so much. They only have 50 calories which is way less than a can of pop, but they claim to be a “Great source of Vitamin C” when in all actuality they only provide a paltry 10%. Don’t skip your vitamins for Fruit Roll-Ups, kids.


The Roll-Up is then wrapped in a thin sheet of plastic. This prevents the fruity goodness from sticking together. Don’t be the poor sap who eats the plastic.

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As we continue down the path of 31 Days of Halloween, it’s time to look at more Halloween Candy! I’ve already covered a few tasty treats, but today we’re looking at spooky skulls. Rock on with some Skulls hard candy! The Skulls say “Freak Street” on the package. I’ve been to a Freak Street, but it didn’t have anything to do with Halloween. Although some of the broads there looked like they came from a horror movie, but I digress.


I bought this at Walmart, for about $1. It comes with five skulls in a coffin package. The packaging is probably the neatest part, but unfortunately it’s not substantial enough to use for GI Joes or anything. It unfolds in several spots and it’s mostly just paper and plastic wrapping. Still it’s very visually appealing for the season.


The skull treats are made by a company called “FLIX Candy”, which I had never heard of prior to this. There isn’t a single healthy thing in these guys. A quick check on their website though indicates that they make a lot of licensed movie candy. That’s where they get the name Flix, naturally. Mostly Disney products are under their umbrella, but they also make seasonal candy for Valentines, Easter, Christmas and of course, Halloween. Some of their other Halloween products include gummy zombie hands called “Grave Grabbers” and a substance known as “Box of Boogers”, YUM!


Speaking of gross, I noticed that on a couple of mine there is a pretty clear thumb print. It’s not on all of them and well, the thumb prints don’t match… So it’s not part of the design. The Chinese laborer’s thumbprint is an added bonus! I think it helps lock in the flavor?

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